What we are told about love from watching movies and listening to music can be very misleading.
Without good role models or better information, the feelings we mistake for love and think indicate a happy-ever-after relationship can be very misleading.
Here are three feelings I tell my clients to pay attention to when dating.
1.) Uncertainty, insecurity, anxiety, stress…
Love is safe, and a good man will make you feel safe and good in his presence.
This thrill of uncertainty is not a good sign.
Making you work harder to win him over is like a challenge, and then he will be all yours. That is what you believe. And it is very misleading. You are confusing his role with yours.
It is he who should wonder if he can win you, and he who should take on the challenge, crack his head in wonder how he can make you his.
Self-value, self-love, healthy boundaries, dating skills and most of all, feminine energy work will be the way to fix this.
Read here: How Modern Queens fall in love.
2.) Intense chemistry and attraction, also a sense of familiarity.
I told a client If you put me in three groups.
The ones you are repelled by and/or who do not meet your non-negotiables.
The ones that are ok, not repelling, but nice and boring.
And the third group, the ones that immediately make you feel something intense, might be familiar and super hot too.
Let me guess, you go for the third one usually.
Because you want to feel something after all that, is how love supposed to be?
Passionate and exciting.
She said, Yes.
I said stop, that. It is unhealthy.
This can be a sign of intimacy, fear, or a tendency to repeat old patterns.
Fear of intimacy is skipping to the physical part and the chemistry-based attraction.
In doing so, you avoid the part where you get to know a man, take time to build a bond and by that slowly grow a stable connection that later turns into true love.
Read here: How Ricarda overcame her chemistry-based dating patterns.
3.) If he is boring, too normal and nice.
I don’t like men who like me. I find most men boring.
Good men, stable men, who are steady, reliable and predictable, can be overlooked and mistaken as boring.
It can be hard to value and appreciate this type of man if we have inner work to do.
But it is worth it.
99% of the successful relationships I have seen are with stable and safe men—the Type 3 man. (see article below)
Knowing about these 3 types of men will save you years of drama and heartbreak.
Lots of Love,
Anina