In this article, I address the three most common misconceptions about Upshot-Dating®, my Signature System. 

Here are the three things Upshot-Dating® is NOT:

• Upshot-Dating® is NOT promiscuity.
• Upshot-Dating® is NOT manipulation.
• Upshot-Dating® is NOT “old-fashioned” in the way you think.

Upshot-Dating® is the most evolved dating system currently out there. Referring you to the pillar article: What is Upshot-Dating®, the Modern Queen’s Way to Date.

I am Anina Green, clinical psychologist, certified dating coach, physicist, wife and founder of the Upshot-Dating® method. I met and married my husband within nine months, using the exact same three-step process (mindset, self-love, and dating skills), which are the core modules of my dating system. 

Having lived all over the world, once a single woman dating to find the right man myself, and through my academic background, I was able to combine the very best of East and West, modern and traditional, spiritual and scientific, and created the most evolved dating system any woman can follow. 

Below, I laid out very logically why my Upshot-Dating® method is not promiscuous, nor manipulative, and neither “old-fashioned” in the way one may initially think.

1. Upshot-Dating® is NOT promiscuity.

Upshot-Dating® does NOT imply a woman is just sleeping around.

Since Upshot-Dating® can—but does not necessarily have to—mean dating more than one man at a time, “sleeping around” is the most common misconception many people leap to. It could not be any further from the truth. In fact, I encourage my private consultation clients not to be physically intimate in the early stages of dating.

Instead, my clients focus on getting to know several men simultaneously (without sleeping with them) to see who is a good fit and can give them the relationship they are looking for (Upshot). My way of dating is very efficient and self-valuing. You are not entering into a committed relationship, like a boyfriend-girlfriend situation; instead, you keep your options open.

Read here: What is the girlfriend trap?

You won’t get attached because you are not physically intimate (oxytocin). Since you are not prematurely attached, you won’t think that this early getting to know each other means more than it does. Dating this way, you are free, unattached, and empowered to let the best man win you. You will only be exclusive, committed, and physically intimate with the man who can give you the relationship and commitment you want—your upshot. Only this man, who has gone all the way for you, gets your heart in return.

Upshot-Dating® is highly compatible with Feminism. I do not know any other way to date that values and empowers a woman more than my system does.

NOTE: I also want to mention here that I have no judgment for women sleeping with a man early on in dating or having casual s**. That is not my place to judge. I am the very last person to tell another woman what she should and should not do with her OWN body. There is enough of that nonsense out there, and I don’t intend to add to it.

This is not the 1950s; I am an advocate for informed consent and conscious choice. 

My mission as a consultant is to empower women to make informed choices. I always walk my client through the process of finding her truth so she can build trust in herself and practise consciously choosing her truth. 

My general recommendation for women, however, is not to get physically intimate early on in dating—not even before they have the commitment they are looking for, and not before they have an idea of the man’s character and values. This advice is based on my practical experience as a consultant.

Here is why it doesn’t work in a woman’s favour to get physically intimate too early. All based on 10 years of coaching and women sharing their innermost feelings with me. 

While you might enjoy it as long as it lasts, most women change after they have been physically intimate. I have had a few clients who did not get attached even though they were sleeping with a man, but those are the outliers.

What usually happens is this: 

It will cloud your judgment: It makes you overlook a man’s shortcomings, possible character flaws, or incompatibilities. Accepting your husband’s quirks is good once you are married, and your husband does little silly things. This type of leniency, however, does not work in your favour in early dating when you are supposed to evaluate a man and see if he is right for you. Sleeping with a man too early can cause you to overlook a fundamental character flaw or incompatibility. 

Let making love be the glue—the cherished bond you create once you have established a stable foundation. It should never be a carelessly granted access to your body that works against you during the vetting process. 

Emotional anxiety: You will also be more emotionally attached, feel anxious, and expect certain things from him, like him calling you regularly and being there for you as if you were in a relationship already. This puts you in a very disadvantaged position, and you can easily slip into chasing after him (masculine-pursuing mode) and appear desperate (pushing him further away).

To refute point 1—that Upshot-Dating® is promiscuous—it is a clear “no”. Upshot-Dating®, if implemented by the client as I suggest and explain above, is the diametric opposite of promiscuity. 

Upshot-Dating® is a powerful tool for discernment and self-protection. 

2. Upshot-Dating® is NOT manipulation.

Upshot-Dating® is NOT about playing games or taking advantage of men.

There is nothing unethical about dating this way! Show me what is wrong with a woman who says:

• “I know what I am looking for in Love and for my Life.” (In other words, she has defined her Upshot—whether that is marriage, a proposal, or children).
• “I value my time and yours, too. It doesn’t make sense for me to enter a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for years—possibly my childbearing years—only to find it is going nowhere.”
• “I value my heart and body, and being physically intimate is meant for someone special.”

All of the above is how my private consultation clients—Modern Queens—present themselves. I dare you to show me what is wrong or unethical about that; I would bet my Mercedes S-Class that you cannot.

Every woman should be Upshot-Dating®, and men should encourage their sisters and daughters to do so. The only party who would disapprove is a man who wants to take up your time without committing, or a man who wants “wife benefits” without being a husband. No loss, and literally no love lost there. 

Read here: Testwifing™: A Strategic Error

To refute point 2—that Upshot-Dating® is manipulative—the answer is absolutely not. It is the diametrical opposite: the most straightforward, respectful, and efficient way to date—not only for the woman but for the men she meets.

Upshot-Dating® is, at her core, about radical honesty and integrity. 

3. Upshot-Dating® is NOT “old-fashioned”. 

Upshot-Dating® is NOT “old-fashioned” in the way you think.

People often assume Upshot-Dating® is not modern. That depends entirely on your definition of the word “modern.” Let us clarify what “modern” means in the context of dating and finding the right man.

If “modern” means a woman sleeping with a man on the first date because he bought her a drink—only to never hear from him again—then no, Upshot-Dating® is not that kind of modern. To me, that is simply sad.

Or, if “modern” means that after a few dates, you are off the market, move in together, and “play house” while it takes years for things to progress—if they ever do—to a proposal or a shared future, then again, no. Thank G-d, Upshot-Dating® is not that kind of “modern.”

Read here: Marriage is just a piece of paper, really? A clear rejection of societal constructs! I have written an extensive breakdown of the reductio ad absurdum at play here—the logical fallacy that keeps women waiting for years for a signature that “doesn’t matter,” yet is somehow too heavy to provide. 

In fact, Upshot-Dating® is the solution to the problems modern dating has created for women. She protects women from the ways modern dating messes with their hearts and psyches.

However, if “modern” means what it means to me: A MODERN QUEEN. She is the best version of you. She is deeply connected to herself, values herself, always has her back, and puts her heart first. She knows what she wants and communicates it clearly and gracefully. She is a woman who does not waste her body and heart on random men; a woman who makes informed, conscious choices to purposefully create her dream life, the ultimate feminist act. 

I would take that as the very definition of lived feminism. If that type of woman is “modern” to you, then Upshot-Dating® is modern too. 

To refute point 3—that Upshot-Dating® is old-fashioned: No, she is the most modern and high-standard way to date, and the best way to find the right man. 

Upshot-Dating® is a rescue mission for any woman who is currently lost in modern dating and getting her heart bashed around like pulp.

The Triple Refute:

• Instead of Promiscuity, she is Self-Valuing Vetting.
• Instead of Manipulation, she is based on Radical Honesty.
• Instead of bad Old-Fashioned, she is positive High-Standard of Modernity.

And just as anticipated, my Mercedes S-Class remains mine!

Upshot-Dating® is more than just a successful dating system replicated by my clients worldwide.

She —Upshot-Dating®— is a lifestyle and the twin sister of Feminism.

As your consultant, it is my honour to assist modern, intelligent women like you in moving through the three modules (mindset, self-love, and dating skills) to find the right man.

This is the lived promise of feminism—that we can “have it all” in an achievable, fun and feminine way. As we should.

A Modern Queen—my brand archetype—does not have to choose between:

• Professional success and romantic fulfilment.
• Independence and a devoted, masculine partner.
• A sharp, scientific mind and a soft, cherished heart.

Instead, she consciously creates the life she wants and deserves.

Anina Green | Soulmate Katalyst Ltd.

Clinical Psychologist, Certified Dating Coach, Wife, Physicist, Founder of Upshot-Dating®

You can begin your journey with Upshot-Dating® in three ways:

1.) Bronze Level: A high-value entry point that offers more depth and structure than many paid programmes currently on the market.

Download my Free Guide: How to Find the Right Man Fast.

This guide is a two-part self-assessment I use when onboarding a new private client. You will know where you are in the dating process and what your patterns are.

2.) Silver Level: The “Self-Study” path. Shop in my Boutique here.

3.) Gold Level: Private consultation with me. Book a 30-minute Assessment Call.