This blog post can be used for self-evaluation. If you are doing well in a specific case, congratulate yourself and take pride in your accomplishment. 

If you realize you have room to improve, I have added further links so you can do so right away. 

As always, none of this information is to shame or blame women, but to show you what is possible for you, too, if you decide to use my consulting and signature system. 

And here are the 5 signs you are a woman who practices Upshot-Dating™ 

1.) She dates with purpose. 

Dating with purpose and clarity on what you are looking for is a fundamental part of Upshot-Dating™, my Signature System. 

A woman who upshot dates™  has her eyes on the prize—whatever that may be for you specifically: getting the ring, marriage, moving in, and having children. 

Or, depending on your stage of life, you may just want a committed, happy relationship, but, for financial reasons, no legal marriage. 

Sometimes, women bring their daughters to consult. Some of these girls do not want to get married yet, but want to learn how to attract a decent boyfriend for a happy young relationship. It is entirely up to you. 

It is important that you set a goal and commit to it, so we can reverse engineer the steps you need to take to get you there. 

To help you define your Upshot with certainty and clarity, please read here: I am not sure I want to get married. 

2.) She values her body. 

In early dating, it is essential to remember this: you do not need to sleep with a man to know if he is right for you. Nor is sleeping with him necessary to win him over.  

A man only deserves access to this precious part of you once things go in the right direction. Until then, you need a clear head to see if he can give you the relationship and commitment you want.

3.) She values her heart. 

Your heart is the treasure he wants to win. 

I tell my clients to see their hearts as precious, red, ruby-shaped treasures. 

Do you take that and throw it at a man for being charming or for how he looks on paper? 

Or just cause you find him attractive, regardless of whether he even cares about you? 

If you do, what happens to this ruby? 

It bounces off him, falls on the floor, and probably breaks. Literally. 

Instead, keep that ruby heart firm in your chest and cultivate it so it is warm and open. 

Stay in touch with it and let it radiate. 

This is how you attract a lot of men. 

It is not your looks, but ultimately, your heart that draws in not only men but anyone. To me, this warmth and radiance are the ultimate feminine beauty. 

4.) She understands the role of masculine and feminine in the realm of romance.

Whatever strong woman, great success, and empowered, highly cultivated masculine side she may have. 

A woman who upshot-dates™ knows how to switch quickly and skillfully from her mind and doing mode into her being and receiving mode. 

This is using the right tool in the right place. 

Approaching your love life, specifically your interaction with a man you date, the same way you show up in business and work life would be using the wrong tool in the wrong place. 

Read here: Why two masculine patterns repel each other. 

5.) She communicates clearly and directly.

There is this myth that it is somehow feminine to be vague and then (in my opinion, as a result of that self-restricting and subsequent frustration) passive-aggressive or lash out. 

I always tell all my private consultant clients to be clear and direct when communicating, but of course, always kind and compassionate. 

Communicate with warmth and softness but crystal clarity. 

The best next step to becoming a clear and kind communicator is a solid journaling practice.  

Communicating clearly and directly is especially important in dating regarding what you are looking for. 

For example:

• If you prefer not to be in a relationship without a ring on your finger. 

• How you feel and what you think. 

Please do not expect men to be mind readers. He needs these clues from you and will appreciate knowing how to make you happy. 

Read here: Why you can stop being passive-aggressive. 

I hope this self-evaluation helped you take the best next steps to create the romantic life you want. 

Anina 

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