Defining workaholism for this article.
Hard work and discipline are positive traits to have. I have them, my clients have them. It is the empowered masculine side of you.
Workaholism starts when regularly continued over time, work comes at the expense of your romantic life. To the point that you do not have a romantic life anymore, or have no time and energy left to create one.
As a workaholic, you find it difficult to detach from work and not constantly think about it.
Another indicator of workaholism is a sense of guilt and restlessness when you do not work or contribute, or keep busy doing something useful.
This means you are too used to being in masculine / doing mode and have lost connection to joy and pleasure.
The classical cycle of workaholism, client case.
At some point, there is not much left to do “after” work.
A woman I consulted told me:
“I do not know who I am, if I am not working or what to do other than work. It feels empty, lonely and just easier to go back to work and just work more. I am usually the last one to leave the office and the first one to be back early on Monday morning. When others talk about their weekend, I have nothing to say, and I gladly volunteer to work on the weekend too.”
The purpose of this article:
Let us break that cycle, keep you the strong, modern woman you are, AND also find love with a man who is there for you.
Why it’s so tempting to be a workaholic.
It gives you a sense of control. Work is a straightforward process of tasks and to-do lists. Dating, romantic relationships and men can feel overwhelming and scary compared to that.
There is always more to do. It never ends. And you can always do better. If you are a perfectionist, this will trap you.
Once you get used to it, it can be addictive to do, do, do, do and do.
Especially because we are taught that our value comes from our achievements.
The negative impact workaholism has on your love life.
Your romantic life, being a woman and building a family suffer.
Putting work first can cost you years, during which you could have started a family.
You are not authentic, and shut down that part of you that wants more from life.
You give in to your fears and choose to numb yourself with work instead.
The brutal truth to consider.
At work, you will be replaced after a few weeks. People won’t remember you. The people who love you will remember you forever.
Once you look back on your life, was working really the thing you wanted to do most?
What workaholism looks like.
I will invest in a love coach once I have finished this project at work.
I bought the self-study program, but I just need to get my promotion first before I can do it.
Now is not the time; I can still start dating later.
I can not handle both a relationship and my career.
Men are the issue. Today, as a woman, you have to choose. Either love or career.
…
These are all sneaky ways of postponing and prioritising other things over your love life.
The chicken and the egg.
Take a moment and honestly reflect on these questions.
Am I single because of my career?
Because my hard work attitude is not for everyone. Men can not handle my success and are intimidated by my strength.
Or
Did I focus on my career because it is easier and gives me a sense of control? Because in love, I feel things are out of my control. I have no idea how to do it right, and I had pain and fear of failing (again).
There was a defining experience.
Going through this can shed a lot of light on what’s really going on inside you and in your subconscious. When doing this with private clients, we usually discover a specific event in which she got hurt. Due to a lack of skills and the right support, this moment was when she decided to focus on her work and put her love life on hold.
Deep question to ask yourself.
What am I escaping by working so much?
What feelings and situations am I avoiding by working so much?
What am I protecting myself from by working instead of dealing with my love life?
My observation as an expert.
I understand you very well.
Heartbreak, fear of intimacy and all the pain and negative experiences dating and romantic relationships can bring are nothing I take lightly.
If you never had the right support and skills, it is no surprise you are protecting yourself this way. You did the best you could with the means you had.
Love requires a different skill set than work; this can be scary to allow.
Working is welcomed and also praised, which makes it an acceptable escape.
Working is a lot easier than dealing with the topics that can potentially come up in the face of love.
Once you believe that there are answers, guidance and solutions, dealing with your love life doesn’t seem so overwhelming anymore. Especially when you see the inspirational testimonials of other women.
They all used my Signature System Upshot-Dating™.
The way out is this:
A new mindset, a different approach and expert skills get a modern woman the love she deserves.
Mindset. > Settling for your career only is based on a host of limiting beliefs, around men, love and what it means to be a modern woman.
Approach of courage and commitment. > That is your part as the client. With this approach in place, my content will change your life.
Expert skills. > Rest assured, you are in safe hands. Upshot-Dating™ is my Signature System and has been replicated successfully by my clients.
Your best next steps:
Besides Individual Consultations with me, the Gold Level.
There are free and reasonably priced resources available to help you get started right away.
Bronze Level (*free) Email List, which is a self-study course to find the right man fast and heartbreak-free.
Silver Level ~ Self-Study Courses, start shopping in my Boutique here.