Nina is a former private client who met and married her husband through Upshot-Dating™, my Signature System. She recently contacted me to discuss a specific situation for which she needed my advice.
Nina writes:
Anina,
You know how much I love and appreciate my husband. He has been nothing but wonderful since we got married and makes sure our honeymoon lasts as long as possible. He takes such good care of me, puts us first, and when there is a problem, he wants to solve it. He really wants our relationship to work and recently took out a mortgage to build me my dream house. I am very, very happy. I got exactly as we planned it to be when I became your client. Your upshot system really does work like magic, I have to say that again!
What I have noticed recently confuses me and scares me a lot. I took a new job as a translator, and in the office building where I now go almost weekly, I see many very handsome and attractive men. They dress well, smell good, are in top shape and are also very successful. Is it bad of me to notice that, Anina?
I am not sure what to make of it. I am really confused. And it also hurts me to think that this means I don’t love my husband because I know that I do, and I don’t want to be with anybody else. And I am happy with him. It makes me sick to my stomach to feel almost like a cheater, even though nothing happened, and I would not do anything. It is just this “wow” feeling when I see these men that I cannot control, which makes me feel guilty…
Nina
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Here is my reply to Nina’s question.
Hello Nina,
Your concern is very sweet and shows what an honest and loyal person you are. I understand how confusing this experience must feel for you right now.
Reading this will help you and put you at ease.
Even though you are confused, I think deep in your heart, you know the answer.
You kind of already wrote it: You love your husband and you are happy with him. You appreciate the love he gives you, all he does for you and are not interested in pursuing anything else on the side.
So what is the issue then?
The “wow” feeling, as you said, is confusing. Because you are not able to place it.
Not being sure what this few-second sensation means, and being the honourable woman you are, this sets off a whole host of questions, combined with your fears painting a picture much worse than it is.
Here is what I see:
I see a beautiful young woman who is happily married to a man who worked hard to win her. He is committed to her and treats her the way she deserves to be treated.
She loves her husband; they are building a life together and will have beautiful babies. He is good-looking and she is very attracted to him. Especially because, besides his looks, she is also in love with him.
Looks are just one facet of a person; when we see a good-looking man, it is natural to feel that “wow” as you call it.
Same for how a man might turn his head when he sees a supermodel or any beautiful, feminine woman.
However, masculine, grown-up, authentic men will tell you that “wow” doesn’t mean much.
Men in love know the difference between appreciating beauty and having feelings for you.
The same is key for you to solve this confusion.
It is okay, it is natural to notice handsome men. The world is full of beautiful people.
What matters is who you love, how connected you are and the life you are building together.
Being married to your husband is a day-to-day decision that you keep making.
So, don’t worry too much; smile, acknowledge, and leave it at that.
I hope this helped,
Anina xoxo
Read here: Can men and women be friends?
