To have the love life we want, we need to take action and evolve. 

As opposed to being stuck and struggling with the same issue for a long time. 

This article lays out the exact five steps to move forward and stop being stuck.

Here is how you know you are stuck, by definition: 

You have the same issues, sometimes across different romantic relationships, where you are the only common denominator. 

And/or you remain in the same spin, in a particular area of your relationship or dating journey.

The leading indicator is that nothing has changed, sometimes even for years. 

Concrete examples of what being stuck looks like:

• Being married, but the bond does not grow stronger and happier over the years. 
• Being in a committed relationship, but he does not move things forward and propose. 
• Dating the same type of man and having the same kind of painful experience again leaves you hopeless, and your belief in love dwindles. 
• Not being happy with the state of your romantic life, beating yourself up over it, and subsequently pressuring yourself even more.
• Having a great dating plan, setting up an online dating profile. Until you have a negative experience, and you give up and lose time.
• Getting angry or triggered by the same topic again and again, feeling angry and powerless in the face of it. 

Why does this happen? 

If we find ourselves in any of the above examples;

– We are either approaching the problem in the same way we always have, which creates the same result, one that we do not like. 

– Or, we may have resigned ourselves to the belief that this is just as good as it gets and avoid the situation altogether. 

Why is it so easy and can be so tempting to remain stuck? 

– It feels familiar, and can be easier to choose than the (temporary!) discomfort change brings. 

– We are more connected to the role of the victim than to the woman, who takes charge of her life and finds solutions.

– It can be easier to put the blame and responsibility on someone or something, outside of ourselves.

This is very human, and what distinguishes you as the woman who succeeds at love is to recognise this temptation and decide to NOT give in to it. 

While the heartbreak, traumatic experiences, and having to find a way to afford consulting and making the time for change are all valid. 

The real question is: “How much time do we want to let pass before we put on our crown and act as Queen of our Life?”

If you have not yet seen another woman succeed or have the relationship you would like to have, you may simply believe it is not possible. Reading my clients’ Testimonials will help you change that. 

Being stuck may have been unintentional, so do not be hard on yourself; just change it.

Here are the exact steps to move forward.

Step 1: Make the decision to change your love life, or a particular area or topic in it. 

Step 2: Define the desired outcome. What does your Upshot look like exactly?

Step 3: Create a plan and break it down into stages. Be so precise that another person could follow these instructions and succeed.

Step 4: Commit to it and keep doing it consistently, on a daily basis.

Step 5: Get Support if needed; there is no shame in asking for help. 

Looking at myself, with honesty AND kindness, while applying these steps, has changed my entire life. 

Personally, I go by this quote. I can not remember where I heard it, but I never forgot it. 

“If you are struggling with the same thing for a long time, you have not learned anything.”

Love to you, Anina

Find further reading here: 

If you are single and ready to stop struggling in dating, start by: Upshot-Dating™ 

If you are already in a relationship and want to improve things, find help here: Relationship & Marriage