Upshot Dating™ is my Signature System, which I am very proud of.
This article addresses the three most common misconceptions about Upshot-Dating™.
Read here: “What is Upshot Dating™”, the main article.
Here are the three things Upshot-Dating™ is NOT.
- Upshot Dating™ does NOT imply a woman is just sleeping around.
Since Upshot-Dating™ can, but does not necessarily have to mean, dating more than one man at a time. Sleeping around is the most common misconception many people leap to. And it could not be any further from the truth.
I encourage my private consultation clients not to be physically intimate in early dating.
Instead, they focus on getting to know several men simultaneously (without sleeping with them) to see who is their fit and can give them the relationship (Upshot) they are looking for.
My way of dating is very efficient and self-valuing.
You are not entering into a committed relationship, like a boyfriend-girlfriend situation; instead, you keep your options open.
You won’t get attached because you are not physically intimate (oxytocin). Since you are not prematurely attached, you won’t think this early getting to know each other means more than it does.
Dating this way, you are free, unattached and empowered to let the best man win you. You will be exclusive, committed and physically intimate with the man who can give you the relationship and commitment you want—your upshot.
Upshot-Dating™ is highly compatible with Feminism. I do not know any other way to date that values and empowers a woman more than my system does.
I also want to mention here that I have no judgment for women sleeping with a man early on in dating or having casual s**. That is not my place to judge. I am the very last person to tell another woman what she should and should not do with her OWN body.
There is enough for that nonsense out there, and I don’t intend to add to it.
My mission as a consultant is to empower women to make informed choices. I always walk my clients through this process of finding their truth so they can practise consciously choosing for themselves.
My general recommendation for women, however, is not to get physically intimate early on in dating, not even before they have the commitment they are looking for, and not before they have an idea of the man’s character and values. This advice is based on my practical experience as a consultant.
Here is why it doesn’t work in a woman’s favour to get physically intimate too early.
While you might enjoy it as long as it lasts, most women change after they have been physically intimate. I have had a few clients who did not get attached even though they were sleeping with a man.
Here are the two main things which usually happen:
- It will cloud your judgment and make you overlook a man’s shortcomings, possible character flaws or incompatibilities. Overlooking your husband’s imperfections is good once you are married, and your husband does little silly things. This type of leniency, however, does not work in your favour in early dating when you are supposed to evaluate a man and see if he is right for you.
- You will also be more emotionally attached, feel anxious, and expect certain things from him, like him calling you regularly and being there for you as if you were in a relationship already. This puts you in a very disadvantaged position, and you can easily slip into chasing after him and appearing desperate.
- Upshot Dating™ is NOT playing games or taking advantage of men.
There is nothing unethical about dating this way!
Show me what is wrong with a woman who says:
“I know what I am looking for in Love and for my Life.”
In other words, I have defined my Upshot. For example, I am looking for marriage, a beautiful ring, a proposal, children, whatever it is that YOU want! It is very individual.
Then she continues to say:
“I value my time and yours too. It doesn’t make sense for me to get into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for maybe even years (possibly my childbearing years) to find out if this is going anywhere. And in case it won’t, I will never get these years back, and I have closed down my options and could not find the right man who wants what I want.”
“I value my heart and put myself first in dating.”
“I need to get to know a man and see if we are compatible so that we can build the life we want together.”
“I also value my body, and being physically intimate means a lot to me. It is meant for someone special.”
All of the above is how my private consultation clients present in dating.
Please show me what is wrong and unethical, let alone playing games about that.
I think it is safe to say that every woman should be Upshot-Dating™, and men should actively encourage their sisters and daughters to do so.
The only party I can see that does not approve of this system is a man who wants to take up your time and is not ready to commit to you or set you free (how unfair), so you can not find a man who is.
And a man who likes the things a wife would give, without having to be a husband in return.
These are the only men who, from what I can see, will not approve of this clear, honest, and very classy way of dating.
No loss, and literally no love was lost there.
- People often assume Upshot Dating™ is not modern.
That depends on your definition of the word “modern”.
If modern means a woman sleeping with a man on the first date because he bought her a drink, and then she probably never hears from him again.
Which to me is just sad, then no, my Upshot-Dating™ is not that kind of modem.
Or if modern means that after a few dates, you are off the market, move in together, play house or wife. But then it takes years till things progress—if they even do—to a proposal or family and shared future plans. Then again, no, thank G-d, it is not this kind of “modern.”
Upshot-Dating™ is the solution to all the problems modern dating has created for women. Upshot-Dating™ protects women from how modern dating messes with women’s hearts and psychology.
If modern means what it means to me.
You are a modern woman, ~ a MODERN QUEEN.
Who is deeply connected to herself, values herself, always has her back, puts her heart first in dating, knows what she wants and communicates it clearly and gracefully.
A woman who does not waste her body and heart on random men. A woman who makes informed, conscious choices to purposefully create her dream life.
If that type of modern woman is modern to you, then Upshot-Dating™ is modern too.
Anina