Even though my Bronze-Level *free content, Silver Level Self-Study Programs, and Gold and Platinum Levels are excellent for guiding you and helping you achieve results in love, my Signature System, Upshot-Dating™, has been replicated by my clients, and my work has been proven to be effective.
There is only so much I can do on my end. No matter how good the coach is, it always takes a client who is committed, willing to transform, and who does her part.
Here is how to ensure you are doing your part; in a reverse example, please take it with a sense of humour.
Ignore the way you feel.
Deny that you feel lonely and would like to have a man by your side who loves you, is loyal to you and supports you in everything you do.
You can always watch TV, scroll social media or binge on fast food and consume lots of sugar and sweets. I recommend a drive-through of McDonald’s and a bucket of ice cream.
Set the wrong focus.
This is key. Not your health, finding love, having a family and a happy romantic relationship. Instead, focus on your career and make it the centre of your life.
That’s where you can work yourself to the ground, get burned out and are always in control.
Become addicted to work, there is always more to do. When everyone goes home from work, you stay. Never leave work at 6 pm to have a life; stay until at least 8 pm.
In the morning, be there early, before anyone else. Check your work email over the weekend.
After all, your work colleagues will never replace you in two weeks max, and your career will be the most important thing to look back on on your deathbed.
Please procrastinate making your love life a priority.
Take a pen and paper and write down at least 10 things that are more important right now than shedding light on your romantic life and actively taking it into your own hands.
Which leads to my next point.
Never ever have a plan for love and dating.
Leave love up to luck and chance, unlike anything else in your life.
While you have a plan, a set goal and expert support for your career, finances and fitness. Never allow yourself to have the same for your love life.
Completely give up control and get into a relationship without any idea of what you want or who the man is. This is also a good way to get your heart broken.
Going so will help you greatly in achieving the next goal:
Hate all men.
Because one man did you wrong, or because your father was absent, cheated on your mother, or your ex was a bastard. Definitely hold on to past experiences and generalise them to all men, so that no other man stands even a chance.
Generalising from one or several individual cases to all is a skill I advise you to apply, even if it sounds illogical.
Here are some additional ways to solidify this:
Keep living in the past.
There are two excellent ways to do this.
1.) Stay stuck on an Ex.
Here, it is essential to at least waste 2 to 5 years of your life, ideally your childbearing years, because he has wronged you.
If you still hate him after three years, as if it were yesterday, you know you’re getting somewhere.
2.) Put your life on hold because you need to work through your childhood issues and explore your attachment style.
Never ever forgive anyone, especially not yourself.
This puts you in danger of being free and moving on.
Forgiving a man would be letting him go; we do not want that.
We want to hold on to him in rage and anger. He is responsible for our happiness, and our situation is his fault and his alone.
Forgiving yourself and learning from your past means you are too kind to yourself. We do not do that here.
Instead:
Be extremely harsh and critical of yourself.
Just as you were taught by angry grown-ups who made you feel like you were never enough. Because they felt sad too.
Keep up that legacy of beating yourself up. It is an important family tradition you do not want to break.
Constantly find things that you hate about yourself, always put yourself down and speak ill of yourself.
Date men who don’t appreciate you, have no boundaries and do not take care of yourself.
This will help you to:
Hate happy, attractive, successful women who have men who love them.
Never ask yourself what they did or how you can learn from them.
Instead, tear them down and expose their flaws. Be backstabbing, they deserve it. Who do they think they are to be so happy and radiant?
Be jealous instead of getting inspired.
Do not be supportive of other women! That is too feminist. See any woman as a competitor, and by all means, never foster a supportive sisterhood.
Always always control your mindset and make an extra effort to focus on the negative, on lack, and all that is wrong.
There is shit to see everywhere. You just have to dig deep enough.
Right now as I write this the sun here is really pissing me off, shining too much and too bright. I hate sunshine.
Never pay a credible coach like me.
They should work for free and be charitable. It is not like you invest in yourself and get a happy life, marriage, and children in return.
Do not commit to a single coach.
Instead, consider moving from one coach to another.
Make sure you behave as if you are spending 5 minutes in each of 7 different gym classes. Never stick around long enough to get fit.
Only watch free content, never invest in yourself.
You are NOT worth it. I repeat, you are not worth the investment.
You have to struggle and are expected to figure it out on your own.
Use free content from different coaches, which is conflicting advice, so it will take you years to get nowhere.
Equally important is this:
Know everything, but don’t apply any of it.
Especially in dating and relationships, this is a must. Know all the tools and terms, but never ever implement any of them.
Strive to be like the person who can analyse each muscle fibre of my body used when I do a flick-flack, but who cannot even jump.
This approach of knowing it all in theory will get you zero results in dating.
Stay in your head and intellectualise everything.
Never apply anything, just study and study and study. After all, knowing something in theory and putting the right cross in multiple-choice exams gets you an A*.
Why not force this approach on real life, too?
Control the uncontrollable.
Make sure you know everything before you do anything.
Otherwise, do not act, nor try anything, let alone take a risk.
Do not trust the process; instead, demand a quick fix.
This is your right because Amazon works that way, too.
Cooking yourself a homemade meal, forget about that. Just get an instant meal.
A good coach will do the same—a quick superficial fix.
Just as you got a six-pack in two weeks because of a YouTube video thumbnail saying so.
Expecting instant gratification is key.
Manifest like you snap your fingers.
And again, of course:
Keep yourself safe by never taking any risk whatsoever.
The moment you feel fear, instantly play dead like a bug or curl yourself into a ball like a hedgehog.
Avoid any uncertainty.
Run like a deer in the headlights. Let your animal brain take over and go into flight.
Never even attempt to control this primal instinct, just ruuun.
Or go into fight.
Take anything I say as a personal attack against you because I am here to make you feel bad.
All I say comes from a place of hate and with the intention of bringing you down, because that is what I enjoy doing.
So, immediately hit back, attack me and find a way to prove me wrong.
Never be open to the things I say. You know better than I do, that is why you are the client and I am the consultant.
Don’t think because I walk my talk and you are currently not having the love life you want, and need help, that I could have a point.
Which will assure you are not coachable.
Do not be like an athlete who succeeds.
Athletes are boring.
They have a goal, then get a coach and listen to what they need to do to get to where they want, and then they just, you guessed it, do it.
How lame is that?
No, no, please not you.
There needs to be more self-sabotage and resistance to everything.
I repeat everything that is new and different and gets different results, needs to be sabotaged.
In case you decide to do something practical:
Get into a relationship that’s not going anywhere.
Commit to the man even though you do not know him.
This is a sure way for you to feel worse and worse about yourself, while you are being teswifed™.
While you do so, it is of paramount importance to behave as if you are married and faithful to him.
Never even look at another man, take down your dating profile and make him the centre of your life.
Sleep with him early.
It will make you get attached and cloud your judgment, so you are blind to his flaws.
This is another excellent way to ensure you get your heart broken.
Always care and worry about what others think.
Random people’s opinion, and men who write stupid things on dating apps or say dumb stuff on dates, or catcall you on the street are THE SOURCE OF VALIDATION and how you should see yourself.
There is no difference, I repeat, no difference between the opinion of a person who matters, expert advice, and asked for feedback, and a random, uninformed comment made by someone who moves on and says something stupid to the next person. It is all the same, and men you do not know and play no role in your life, should be given the most importance.
Seek out to be friends with unhappy women who are single, hate men and bash them constantly.
This is a must.
If a woman doesn’t trash-talk her husband or laugh at jokes that say men are stupid, incapable, and women do everything better, you can not be friends with her.
If you get too close to women who respect and appreciate men, you find yourself in the risk zone.
Please stay away.
Stay in your default. Never ever attempt to change.
You could outgrow yourself.
At the risk of materialising your dreams: meet the man you love despite your past, childhood, or absent father.
You might find true love, even though you are fat (I’m sure you are not), and not as good-looking as you should be. Because, yes, men only care for looks.
And last but not least.
Do not even consider showing up as a client or purchasing a program and starting this work unless you are perfect.
Please keep postponing this until you are perfect.
Just as I clean my house before the cleaning lady comes, I want you to know everything before you come to me for help.
I am not, I repeat, not here to help.
Anina 😉
