The “relationship talk”: 

“Where do we stand?” “What are we?”

In other words, “I want certainty, more commitment, exclusivity and future plans.” 

There is a lot of well-meant, often conflicting advice, even checklists and instructions on choosing your words and how to conduct yourself during this talk. 

But what if the issue was not the talk itself? 

What if the issue was everything in your dating history that has led you to think you need to initiate a relationship talk?

Here is my take on whether you should have the relationship talk. Based on my Signature System Upshot-Dating™.

The main issue with having the relationship talk is that it hardly ever goes well. 

Many women find their way to my consulting after a failed relationship talk. 

Here is why:

>> When a woman initiates the relationship talk with a man, she does it because she wants certainty and the relationship to progress. 

>> If the man felt the same, he would have done that already. 

You can trust me that if a man wants you, he will come for you and move the relationship forward. 

This explains why, most of the time, women will not get the reaction they want from having the relationship talk, regardless of how well conducted the talk was. 

What usually happens is that the man will say something along the lines of: 

• He can not give you what you want.
• He is not ready.
• … not in love, etc. 

Or he will end things because he does not want to take up any more of your time. 

This is very painful, but you can take his word for it. 

He is not saying this because he wants you to win him over or because he needs more time. 

He told you he is not into you enough to move things forward. 

Believe him.

I am stressing this because, unfortunately, many women at this point will slip into pursuing the man, trying to prove to him even more that this can work and is meant to be. 

You can not talk a man into feeling more passionate, in love, possessive or willing to commit to you. 

The more you push for this, the more you push him away. 

You may now think:

“But should I not speak up, say what I want and demand my rights instead of being passive?”

Yes!

Yes, you should, but please be smart and do it in a way that works. 

Feeling desire and passion and wanting to commit to you is an emotional, instinctive, gut-level response. 

You can not talk him into that, nor demand he feels that way, because you think he owes you.

What should you do instead of having the relationship talk?

Here is what works. 

Start Upshot-Dating™. 

And you, as the woman, won’t commit unless you are offered the commitment you are looking for (your upshot).

That is when he initiates the relationship talk, to claim you as his, because he is ready. 

The right man for you will feel compelled to have the relationship talk and move things forward.

Mastering this is where your true feminine power as a woman lies. 

Once you experience being pursued this way, you will never go back to before. 

My clients are so connected to their worth as women and love themselves so deeply that they simply feel turned off by the thought of having to initiate a relationship talk. 

To you stepping into your power as the Prize in Love,

Xoxo Anina