This is why women get their hearts broken and can not find the love and relationship they want.
The #1 mistake women make in dating is LACK OF CLARITY!
Not knowing what you want and therefore not being able to align your dating behaviour with it can cost you years of your life and create unnecessary heartbreak.
This article is written to help you identify if you are making the #1 mistake and what you can do instead to create the relationship and love life you want.
Here are the three signs that you lack clarity in dating.
Lack of Clarity Sign 1: Getting into a committed relationship after a few dates.
“He asked me to be his girlfriend on the first or second date!”
While this may feel like you won the lottery, as your consultant, it is far from it to me. If you think about it, there is nothing good about this.
Saying yes to being in a committed relationship after only a few dates is closing down your options.
It is kind of upside down, if you think about it.
You are committing to someone, to find out if he is even the right person to commit to.
While the above sentence may be the exact argument to do so, and unfortunately, it is common dating advice, in my opinion, it cannot be any more wrong than that.
Why?
Closing down your options and committing to a man and a relationship, before you know him enough to understand if he is what you are looking for, is a dead-end road.
It costs you time, energy, emotions, and the most precious thing, your heart.
Once you are attached, while he is still making up his mind about you, you will feel desperate and begin working hard for the relationship, which puts you into auditioning mode for him.
This chips away at your self-esteem and devalues you as a woman. We are here to change that completely.
What should I do instead?
Have a clear vision of whom you are looking for, and date men the old-fashioned way.
This means you date several men at the same time, without sleeping with them.
Do this until you have had enough time to understand who can give you the relationship you are looking for. And, till a man proposes, or claims you fully, by offering you the commitment you want.
Leading to the next sign, a woman lacks clarity in her dating life.
Lack of Clarity Sign 2: Sleeping with him, before you can know if he is right for you.
This is not to tell you what you should or should not do with your body as a woman. There is already enough of that nonsense out there. I do not intend to add to it. It is your body and your choice, that is a firm belief I have always held.
I am saying this as your sister and supporter. I want to direct your awareness to the fact that for us women, there is a connection between having s** and getting attached (oxytocin). Most women I consulted were wired to bond through physical intimacy. That is why having s**is is so precious.
In the early stages of dating, you need a clear head to evaluate and decide if a man is right for you. Having s** too early will get in the way of that.
So what is the solution?
Instead of trying to deny the role of oxytocin, which will only hurt yourself, work with it.
Simply share this with a man:
“I find you very attractive, and I know myself well enough. S** is very meaningful to me, and I get attached. So I first need to get to know you better, to see if you are the one for me.”
Or say:
“I am too sensitive to have casual s**. I am looking to find my husband, and I have decided to take it slow, and get to know a man first, to see if we are a match.”
These are the things my private consultation clients, who get engaged quickly, say.
The second is what I said when I met and married my husband in less than 9 months. ♥️
And, of course, make it easy for yourself and avoid putting yourself in a situation that increases temptation to get physical. Meaning dates in public places, and unless you are sure you can trust yourself, no sleepovers and no watching TV on the couch, just the two of you.…
Lack of Clarity Sign 3: Falling for chemistry, and how he looks on paper.
Being seduced by how he looks, talks, appears on paper, or how charming he is can be very misleading.
What matters instead is how committed he is to you, and how much of his energy and attention is directed to you, consistently over time.
When dating a man, focus on whether he has the values and characteristics you are looking for in a husband.
It does not matter how attractive you may find him if he is not able to give you what you want.
It also does not matter how good he looks on paper; if he is not interested in the relationship, you are looking to create.
Nor does it matter if the initial chemistry is there, oftentimes not a good sign anyway, but your values and ideas of life do not align.
It may take some inner work and healing of your attraction patterns to change this. But do not worry, it can be done. I did, and my clients do so regularly. And I promise you, it is so worth it.
If, after reading this article, you realise that you have so far lacked clarity in dating.
Please do not be too hard on yourself; many of us have simply not been taught or told about this. It is not your fault not to know what you do not know.
My blog, consulting service and self-study programs are geared towards helping lovely ladies like you find the right man fast, easy and most of all heartbreak-free.
My Signature System Upshot-Dating™ is based on the key idea that you START at the END, define the result first, and then reverse engineer.
In other words, before you start dating, you already know what type of relationship you want; this way, you date with a purpose.
Lots of Love,
Anina Green
Soulmate Katalyst Ltd.
~ Dedicated to Your Success in Love Since 2017
Start here with the Bronze Level Email List, my free self-study course.
