BREAKING these 5 social norms in early dating makes you more successful at dating and helps you find love fast.
In being a woman myself, having observed my female friends date, and now as a professional consultant, speaking to women from all over the world. I have identified 5 areas in which I strongly advise you to break common social norms.
Some of these norms may not apply in your culture or the society in which you currently live, but others do.
When reading this, keep in mind that social norms, although they are the norm, are not always the best course of action.
I advise breaking these 5 social norms, especially in early dating, simply because they do not serve you as a woman.
They will hurt your heart, devalue yourself and are just not suited, if you are dating for love and a happy marriage.
While reading, you will also find links and advice on alternative actions to take. So you can do differently right away.
1.) Physician Intimacy ~ how far you go.
This was the biggest shock to me when I lived in Geneva as a student. My flatmate, a gorgeous girl, told me after a night out that she felt obligated to sleep with a man because he bought her a drink and pulled her into a taxi, taking her to his home. I was speechless, and it made me feel sad too.
As a modern woman, you only get to decide how far you go and with whom you sleep and when. Which is a good thing, and how it should be.
Yet, I feel this freedom has, in some cases, led to the idea that sleeping with a man has no meaning anymore. And it is not worth more than a drink, a dinner or a few dates of him being charming and sweet-talking. That feels very lost to me.
Especially when dating to create lasting love, your body and access to it are something that needs to be earned by him. Not something you just give because you are dating.
2.) Personal Information ~ how much you share.
When you leave out physical intimacy, which can create the illusion of being close with a person you know nothing about. You have the time and space to get to know a man’s character, decide if he is right for you, and give you what you want and if he wants the same things as you.
Over time, with him asking you out consistently, you get to know each other and share more about your thoughts, feelings, dreams, wishes, goals, and the things you are dealing with.
This is a process that evolves. So, do not be an open book and, for example, share your deepest childhood wounds with a man you just met. Sharing such personal things needs to be earned by him seeing you regularly.
3.) Payment ~ who pays the bill?
Paying for a date is the role of the masculine energy pattern. If you are familiar with my work, I help modern strong women become the feminine energy partner in their romantic relationships. Dating this way and especially in early dating, it will be the man who contacts you, asks you out and therefore, because the person extending the invitation is also the one who covers the expenses, he who pays the bill.
I have seen women go out of their way to make the first date special, or even cook a four-course meal in their own homes for men they have never met, except online or via video call. Please do not do this. It is too much effort on your behalf at this point and sets the relationship up on the wrong track.
4.) Time ~ how long the date lasts.
It seems to be a common social norm to draw out dates and exceed the stay. What do I mean by that?
Men need space and your absence to want more. Just because it feels good does not mean it is meant to last for hours.
A first date, especially, is to get an impression and decide if you want to meet again. The longer this lasts, the less likely he will be to want to see you again.
Also important, no vacations together, in early dating.
5.) Location ~ where the date takes place.
It’s best to meet in public, and no Netflix and chill at home. There are many reasons to meet in public, and none to meet in private, neither at your home nor at his. There is a time and a place for that, just not now. Early dates do not have to be expensive or glamorous; they have to be decent. That is a big difference.
As you can see, breaking these 5 social norms in early dating puts you in an advantageous position over many women who have not yet come across this information.
It helps you create a dating style of self-love, self-respect, self-empowerment, clarity and action.
And do not worry, there will be a point and a time to go on vacation together, also cook for him, pay for drinks or coffee and watch a movie together on your couch as well, just not in early dating.
If you found this helpful and you want to learn more about dating this way, here are your next two best steps.
Step 1. ~ start Upshot Dating™
Get familiar with my Signature System, the unique Upshot Dating™. It is a melange of the very best dating advice of East and West.
I was fortunate enough to have grown up between the Eastern and Western worlds myself, which has given me insight into both.
By creating my Signature System Upshot–Dating™, I have taken what works best for women in each world and ditched the rest.
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Set yourself up for success in online dating and read the online dating section of the blog.
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And of course, for private mentoring and personal access to me while dating in this revolutionary way, which Upshot-Dating™ is, you can get in touch with me here and book your initial call.