If this article speaks to you and the advice is meant for you, it will make you tear up and stir your heart.  

When a beautiful, gorgeous, intelligent, wonderful woman like you, who deserves the world, a man devoted to her, worshipping the ground she walks on, a support system of a loving family and a set of true female friends, spells out these words: 

“I do not need (anyone) a man, I can do it all by myself.” 

This is what I hear: 

• “I had to be strong and dependable. I had nobody to rely on and had to do everything by myself. It is not what I wanted; it is what was needed of me. I sometimes judge women who never had to be as strong as I.”
• “I know how painful it is to feel rejected, abandoned, betrayed, and I have been let down too many times. I have decided that I will not let this happen again.” 
• “I had no healthy masculine father figure and role model. I feel frustrated, I believe men are incapable, unreliable and weak. If I am honest, this causes me a lot of stress.” 

Chances are, you find yourself in the above monologues. 

This article will help you understand yourself better and gain a new, healthy and happy perspective. 

Through healing the above mindset, you will become a relaxed and happy woman who feels light and at peace. 

You carry yourself with a smile, and you no longer feel exhausted and frustrated. 

You are able to ask and receive support and trust the man in your life that he can handle things and that he is there for YOU. 

You have enough time, space and energy to fill your cup first without feeling guilty about it. 

That is your self-preserving, very self-valuing and self-caring default state. It is very different from what many of us were taught to believe makes a good woman, person, or mother.  

Yes, there is no virtue in burning yourself out and sacrificing yourself. Taking care of yourself so you can be at your best is the biggest gift you can give to others. 

Then, as a woman, occasionally and only when it is necessary (say, an emergency), you switch on that superpower mode we all have within. 

The Lioness comes out and does her job, but she is not your default. This is the trick !! 

The evolution here is to transition from a self-isolating woman in survival mode to a well-rested, well-supported woman who can unleash the tigress within her, if needed. 

Remember: 

Just because you CAN do everything on your own does not mean you have to. 

Just because you had to do it all on your own at a certain time in your life, does not mean you have to continue this way. 

Continuing to behave this way is a trauma response. 

If you zoom out and self-reflect, you will be able to see that you are in survival mode. Now, as a grown-up, more informed woman, you can consciously choose what mode you want to live your life in. 

Here are some concrete steps to change this:

• Notice when you are burning yourself out and ask for and accept help. 
• Learn to identify trustworthy support systems and healthy relationships. 
• Understand how to spot masculine men who protect and provide for women. 
• Lean back into your Feminine Energy. 

A very recommended investment at this point is my wonderful Boundary Builder. 

The Boundary Builder is one of my Silver Level Self-Study Programs.

The Boundary Builder is designed to:

• Show you how to connect to yourself and help you understand what is right for you personally.
• Teach you how to find the courage to express healthy boundaries in a kind and graceful, yet firm way. 

Find the full program description over here in my Boutique. 

Happy Shopping! You’re worth it. 

Lots of Love, Anina xoxo