Despite their good character and achievements in all they do, strong, smart, and successful women are often unsuccessful in love.

If you have ever wondered where all the good men are, or perhaps believe they are intimidated by amazing women, then I am sure this article will speak to you.

Here are my observations from consulting with women in individual sessions, along with the solutions I provide. 

The struggle is real. ~ But it won’t last if you follow this advice.

I want to validate your experience and acknowledge where you are at right now. 

It is true that without the right support, as my consulting provides, it is not uncommon for women who are successful in life and work to struggle in love.  

I have sat across the most educated, strong and successful women who could not even get a date, or had men leave them for less successful, less good-looking women. 

Successful, brilliant, wonderful women who can’t seem to find a man who appreciates them for who they are. 

Here are my observations and an explanation of why this can happen. 

Women who are used to being strong, independent and mainly use their brains to make things work, will naturally approach finding he right man and love the same way. 

But love and finding the right man require a different skillset. 

And the very good news is that you can just learn these skills. 

Here are the questions I ask clients in private sessions. 

Are you trying to impress him instead of allowing him to impress you?

Going on a date and leading with your achievements, brain, and how smart you are can be a default. While he may respect you for it, he will not feel any romantic attraction to you. 

Does dating feel a bit like a job interview? No fun, no flow? 

Do you think that by showing your competence and qualifications, you will impress and win him over? 

The new and different skill I teach my clients here in private sessions is to literally lean back in your chair on the date and allow the man to impress you. 

Are you showing up as overly masculine in the dating scene?

That is another confusion and comes from such a well-intended place, yet it is detrimental to creating attraction with a man. 

Asking him out on a date, making sure he got home safe, picking up the check, doing everything 50/50, feeling immediately like you have to pay him back when he makes an effort for you. 

This type of equality flies in the face of romance and love. 

The men my clients date fall in love with them because they are able to give to my clients, and my clients are able to receive. 

By receiving and appreciating all the courting and caring a man does, my clients are able to establish that magical attraction that makes a man step up and want to be a superhero.

So no more opening doors, calling men and pursuing. Instead, stay put on your throne and let the best man win. 

Are you feeling good enough and ready for love?

I can not tell you how often I sat in a video call with a wonderful woman and we discovered she deep down inside does not feel good enough.

I have written a separate article on this. Please find it there: I do not feel good enough. 7 Steps to change it.

Are you brave enough to be seen?

With perfectionist and ambitious women, it can be challenging to be seen in our real, not perfect, put-together, strong moments. 

For a man to create love, he needs to feel a connection. To establish a connection, we need to be courageous enough to be authentic and vulnerable.  

Are you the I work alone here type of woman? 

Do you have a tendency to struggle in silence and shut everyone out when you have a problem?

Maybe you do not want to burden anyone? And you most likely think you need to do it all alone. 

I used to be this way a lot. Please read here: What you are really saying when you state: “I do not need anyone (a man), I can do it all by myself.”

Are you choosing he right men?

This is ever so important. No matter how educated you are in your field of expertise, say IT or medicine. Knowing what to look for in a man must be learned, too. 

Unavailable men who do not want to commit or start a family. Men who, for whatever reason, can not give you the relationship and commitment you want. 

Or men who make you feel never good enough, make you doubt yourself, and cause you anxiety, forcing you to work hard to win them, are the wrong men to date. 

Read here: Why do I like and attract unavailable men? 

It is important to define your dating pool and only date men who are available, meet your non-negotiables and who move the relationship forward. 

To do this, follow my Signature System Upshot-Dating™, which begins by defining the man and relationship you are looking for. That is your upshot. 

Until he proposes or offers you the commitment you want, you are free to date multiple men at a time. Which is the old-fashioned way for women to date. 

Conclusion:

• As a strong, smart, and successful woman, it is essential to let go of the hard work and masculine energy when approaching love and finding the right man. 

• The idea that success can be achieved by working harder and being logical does not apply to dating and love. 

• While he may respect you as a colleague, it will push away a masculine man. In romance, two masculine partners will repel each other. 

• It takes courage to take on the feminine role, be seen for who you are, and sit still when a man works hard to win you, but once you get a taste of it, you will never go back.   

What now?

The best next step is to start Upshot-Dating™ and put your name on the Bronze Level (*free) Email List. 

~ Dedicated to Your Success in Love Since 2017

Anina Green

Soulmate Katalyst Ltd.