Having Multiple Suitors Isn’t Cheating but Time-Efficient and Heartbreak-Free
Dismantling a psychological and ethical barrier to my Signature System. Dating several men simultaneously can feel challenging and sound very wrong at first. Upshot-Dating®, as the name implies, is goal-oriented. Unlike conventional dating, where women can get their hearts broken and lose years to the wrong man, my system is heartbreak-proof and time-efficient.
Read here: What is Upshot-Dating® the Modern Queen’s Way to Date
Part of its efficiency and high client success rate is that my clients date multiple men simultaneously. They get to know them on public dates, meeting for coffee and dinners, attending events, and having conversations—all where you can get to know each other and check for compatibility.
This is the old-fashioned way to date: a woman has multiple suitors until one wins her heart and proposes.
Note from Anina addressing moral hesitation: Multi-dating within my Signature System does not mean sleeping around. In fact, I encourage my clients to stay physically exclusive to themselves until they have the commitment they desire. This keeps a woman free, unattached, and empowered, with her heart protected. And makes Upshot-Dating® a time-saving way to see who is a fit for your life without the clouding effects of early sex.
Why Dating Several Men Simultaneously Is Not Cheating
Cheating is breaking an agreement.
For you to be able to cheat, there first needs to be an agreement. In early dating, there is no such agreement. You are free to date others until you specifically discuss being exclusive and seeing each other exclusively. It is wrong to assume that because you went for a first or several subsequent dates, accepting invites from other men is cheating.
Read here: 3 Things Upshot-Dating® Is NOT: The Protective Shield Article to My High-Class Brand
Exclusivity is not a silent assumption, but a mutual decision based on an explicit conversation. Brought forward by the masculine energy partner—the man!
Remember not to assume you are exclusive unless he has brought it up and asked you for it. And even then, getting exclusive should imply that you get the commitment you want, which is your previously defined upshot. In other words, don’t agree to be a girlfriend if what you want to be is a wife.
Read here: The Girlfriend Trap: 3 Signs You Are in It and 4 Strategic Steps to Get Out
Read here: Testwifing™: A Strategic Error — Why Being a “Forever Girlfriend” Is a Trap
For you as a woman, there is an additional benefit of dating several men. You will not feel over-attached and emotionally invested in a man who has not yet proven worthy of it. You will not feel desperate, make him the centre of your life, and start thinking that only he can give you the relationship you want. Instead, you stay centred and do not lose your power, as the woman and the prize in dating and love.
In conclusion, the traditional way of dating several men until one of them brings forward the commitment you want (your upshot) is a protection mechanism for your heart and helps you stay centred in your power. This is an example of how Upshot-Dating® is a fusion of the very best of modern and traditional dating and works in a woman’s favour.
Upshot-Dating® versus common dating: Woman A vs. Woman B
Let’s run through early dating with Woman A, who is Upshot-Dating®, and Woman B, who is unfamiliar with my Signature System.
Woman A will date and enjoy the process; she is warm, open, fun and unattached. She is here to find the right man. The right man, in simple terms, is the man who is ready and able to give you the commitment (your upshot) you want. The right man for you will be certain about you; he wants you and you only, and acts based on it, leaving you without a doubt. Making you feel safe in his love.
Woman B will falsely assume that after one date, she owes the man loyalty and that accepting another date would be considered cheating on him. Grown-up secure men, the Type 3 man, understand that it takes more time to make such a commitment. While a man may feel that you could be the one (my husband knew right away), he will expect you to be exclusive after a few hours. Consider it a massive red flag if a man assumes and expects your exclusive commitment after a few dates.
The only difference between Woman A and Woman B is in their approach, never in their value or worthiness of love. Woman A is a Dating Queen, and Woman B has the chance to become one by following my system, Upshot-Dating®.
In both scenarios, the man was only dating the woman and enjoying her company. After a few dates, he stopped calling, and for Woman A, this was okay. She acknowledges that when a man stops pursuing, it means he is not the one. Because Woman A was not attached to or over-invested in him, she can observe this and stay on her throne, lean back and let the best man win.
To Woman B, this was a disaster, and my heart goes out to her. I really hope she will contact me. Woman B thought they were in a relationship, and she had already taken down her dating profile and declined invites from other men. She made him the centre of attention and waited around for him to call her; when he stopped, she was crushed.
Read here: Why Men Ghost and How to Handle It: The Modern Queen’s Response
Extending my Invitation to you!
Please be Woman A, the Dating Queen, and the powerful Modern Queen who is the Queen of her Life.
If you have made a Woman B experience—not your real self, just what can happen to any woman who has not yet treated herself to the expert support she deserves—let this be the day you start Upshot-Dating® and actively take your life into your own hands.
If you are single, in your 30s, and want to start a family, Upshot-Dating® is the way to go. It will put you in a very advantageous situation, and you can find the right man fast, and as you see in the above example, heartbreak-free.
I am here for you, happy to assist you in finding the right man, your bashert.
Anina Green
Clinical Psychologist, Certified Dating Coach, Wife, Physicist, and Founder of Upshot-Dating®.
I met and married my husband within nine months using my three-module process (mindset, self-love, dating skills) that has been successfully replicated by my clients worldwide since 2016.
Download my free guide: The Modern Queen’s Path to True Love
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