Are you secretly terrified of the commitment you say you want? Oftentimes, for a strong, modern, and successful woman—a Modern Queen—the road to her Upshot (dating goal) is paved with old ghosts and past pain. 

You may spend years dreaming of the right man, only to find yourself wanting to run when he proposes and puts a ring on your finger. 

As a Clinical Psychologist, certified dating coach, wife, and founder of Upshot-Dating®, I am here to help you navigate these complex situations. 

The following success story is a profound example of how past pain can try to hijack your future—and how the right support can help you stay in the driver’s seat of your own love story.

Coralie’s Story

My client, Coralie, had been in a relationship for almost two years when she became my private client. She wanted more commitment, in the ultimate symbol of it: the ring. Being just in a romantic relationship was not making her happy.

By the time Coralie became my client, her anger and resentment had begun to affect the tone of her romantic relationship. We worked together privately, and soon the dynamic in her romantic relationship improved. After a few weeks of individual consultations, a deep, never-before-felt connection developed between Coralie and her boyfriend.

For her birthday, he flew Coralie from the U.S. to Paris, France, her home country. When he proposed to her on her birthday, at the Eiffel Tower, Coralie froze, managed to say yes, but felt numb and scared. Back at the hotel, she locked herself in the bathroom, sank to the floor, and cried.

Through working with me, Coralie had learned not to lash out and let her unprocessed emotions control her. In this case, it means that even though Coralie felt panicked, she managed not to take it out on her boyfriend and reject his proposal, potentially spoiling the romantic getaway that he had put so much effort into.

When she called me for a short-notice session, here is what we found out.

While at home in the U.S., Coralie was able to implement all the tools and session content. This had led to a significant change in her overall relationship dynamic within a few weeks. Once on the plane to Paris, when she got the feeling he was going to propose, Coralie became overly focused on “doing it right”.

By doing that, she was not allowing herself to live in the moment and simply receive all the love and birthday surprise this man was giving her. This took her out of her feminine joy and pleasure, and locked her up in her head and thoughts of overthinking.

Getting engaged again, even though it was our defined upshot (coaching goal) that we had worked for, and exactly what Coralie wanted, suddenly brought up fear for Coralie. Coralie had been engaged ten years ago and had been cheated on by her fiancé one week into the engagement. Needless to say, she was devastated.

In Paris, in the face of a new proposal to a different man, Coralie had allowed the past and her fear to take the driver’s seat in her life. Coralie felt the proposal in Paris was surreal because she did not see herself at the centre of such a perfect love story. On some deeper level, she didn’t feel it was worth all the effort—being flown to Paris and proposed to on the Eiffel Tower with an extremely expensive ring.

And of course, she was terrified to get her heart broken again. In her panicked mind, the proposal also meant getting cheated on. What Coralie experienced is understandable, and this can happen to any woman along the way from single to engaged. It is self-sabotage, and past pain acting up.

All that matters is to address this with the right support, as Coralie did, so you can quickly get back into the driver’s seat of your life. You are the Queen of your life; you get to create your romantic life. It is you who gets to write the story, regardless of your past. The future is yours!

After our session, Coralie went back to her fiancé and told him how happy she was about the dream proposal. And in a well-crafted short script, she told him she needed some time to process a bad experience from her past.

Her fiancé (by now, in 2026, husband and father of her son) put his arm around her, kissed her on the forehead, and said: “Please do not be scared, you are the love of my life, and I am very lucky to have found you!”

That is the kind of love my clients get, and it is available for you, too.

Coralie’s story proves that even when it is the right man, you may still require expert support to take responsibility for your part. And I want you to know that you don’t have to navigate this overwhelming situation on your own. Allow yourself to be supported like a true queen.

Download my Free Guide: 

Succeed at Love Regardless of Your Past.

If you are ready to invest at the Gold Level, book your initial call with me today. Book a 30-minute Assessment Call

I look forward to meeting you!

Dedicated to Your Success in Love Since 2016

Anina Green | Soulmate Katalyst Ltd.

Clinical Psychologist, Certified Dating Coach, Wife, Physicist, Founder of Upshot-Dating®

Dedicated to Your Success in Love Since 2016