Are you waiting for him to finally be ready to get married and start a family? Have you spent several years in a relationship, hoping things will finally move to the next level?

Unfortunately, too many amazing, brilliant, gorgeous women like you—Modern Queens—spend too much time stuck in dead-end relationships, hoping for a commitment that never comes.

Introducing the Modern Queen: The Woman Who Has It All

As a Clinical Psychologist and the founder of Upshot-Dating®, I help wonderful women like you stop wasting years on the wrong men and start building the life they actually want.

What is Upshot-Dating®, the Modern Queen’s Way to Date

Malia’s success story is a beautiful reminder that when you take your “luck” in love into your own hands, your situation can transform faster than you can imagine. In just over a year, she went from a painful birthday break-up to being a happily married, expectant mother. 

Malia answered my interview questions as a married woman, sitting in her beach house, her feet up on a small stool her husband had pulled out for her, her hands resting happily on her baby bump, and wearing the most glowing smile on her face.

When Malia and I first spoke, I remember her overall expression was so different. She was single, stressed out, and sad. She had just gone through a difficult break-up, and that is how she found her way to me.

Malia, what was your situation like before working with me?

I was 38, single, and my boyfriend of six years and I broke up because he wanted to take a job overseas and wasn’t ready for marriage or family anytime soon. You can say I was at my breaking point. Also, because it happened two weeks before my birthday.

On my birthday, I was alone at home in the evening, it was a weekday, and that is when I crashed. It was as if my whole life was passing in front of my eyes: all the dead-end relationships, all the years I had wasted on men who weren’t good, could not make up their minds, or were not “yet” ready to have a serious relationship.

After I had a good cry, I went to my bathroom to wash my face. I looked like a panda bear with a red clown nose from all the crying; my makeup was smeared, and my nose was red from sobbing.

“Malia,” I said, when facing myself in the mirror, “you are not going to accept this, you will find the right man and have children!”

That night, I started my research, and that’s how I found you. I booked my initial call with you for the following week. Even before speaking to you, something had already changed. At the weekend, while celebrating my birthday, I was enjoying my party. When I was asked about my ex, I just said: “Nah… He is gone, but I will find the right man soon.”

I don’t know where I suddenly found that confidence, but just knowing that you were there and had the expertise made me trust that everything would be okay. I just knew my solution was in our calls.

Anina’s comment: Malia describes exactly what I have experienced myself and what I constantly witness in the women I work with. There is that internal shift, like a “click”. When she decides—it happened exactly the same to me when I decided I would find my husband—you suddenly feel calm; you just know he is out there, and you will make this happen.

Can you describe your experience working with me and name three main things you have learned?

1st: Breaking the Pattern

One of the main things you helped me with right away was identifying my dating pattern and how to break it. My pattern was to beat around the bush and not say up front that I wanted marriage and children. Instead, I got into the relationship and believed he just needed time to get ready.

What I learned from you was to first define my Upshot, which was to be married and start a family, and then only date men who wanted the same. It was groundbreaking for me to realise that I am not scaring away a man if I say this up front, but that I should say it to filter out men who are not on the same page.

I remember how you explained to me that this doesn’t mean I want to marry him in particular, but that I am saying what I am looking for, and, as the Queen of my Life, that is what I am supposed to do. With clarity and confidence! My husband recently told me that he was impressed by how clear I was about what I was looking for, and how he never felt any pressure or desperation. On the contrary, he worked hard to win me over, and he feels so lucky that I said yes to his ring.

2nd: Accessing My Value

Confidence in myself and in my value as a woman. I was confident in my achievements, competence, and career, but when you asked me what made me special as a woman, I had no answer. That was another eye-opener.

With your help, I was able to access my intrinsic value and learned that my presence is a blessing in itself, that I do not need to work hard for his love, and that 50/50 kills his attraction. I can see how resting in my feminine role with my husband makes him want to protect and take care of me in ways I didn’t know men could. I grew up without a father, and I’m so happy our children will have him. It will make such a significant difference in their lives.

3rd: The Tools

Journaling and the visual tools. Both gave me so much power and access to myself. I was in therapy a few years ago when I was very stressed about a work situation, and nothing changes your life—the way you think and feel—as effectively as a journaling routine and the constant practice of visual tools. I journal regularly, and I, of course, book a single session with you if I need to work through something in particular.

Working with you is the smartest and best thing I have ever done for myself! Being coached the way you coach: I felt seen for who I am and supported, which made me feel like I can do anything. It was a very healing experience on many levels.

I am so happy you felt that way working with me. Now, lastly, and most importantly, what does your life look like now?

As you can see, I am happy and very blessed (hinting at her bump and her husband in the back of the house), and I am still amazed how, with the right skills, as you always say, it can happen so fast. The struggle is finally over, and I have the love and life I always wanted.

I could never repay you for this. You change lives, and you have also changed my child’s life. I want to share with you that we are expecting a baby girl. Besides my husband, who was there at the gynaecologist’s with me when we found out the gender, you are the first person I am telling this to. That’s how special you are to me! Honestly, without your guidance, I would not be sitting here, expecting a baby, with this good man by my side.

Congratulations again on this wonderful news. Your daughter is lucky to have a mother like you. I feel honoured that you shared this with me!

I hope that Malia’s journey from a painful birthday break-up to the wonderful life she is leading now encourages you to take your love life into your own hands.

By mastering your mindset, setting clear boundaries, and trusting in your own worth as a woman, you can find the right man fast and heartbreak-free.

• Download my Free Guide: Succeed at Love Regardless of Your Past.
• Book a Private Consultation: If you are ready to invest in yourself as Malia did, then book a 30-minute Assessment Call today.

I look forward to meeting you,

Anina xoxo