I help modern, intelligent, strong women—Modern Queens—find the right man fast and heartbreak-free. I am a clinical psychologist, certified dating coach, wife, physicist, and founder of Upshot-Dating®.

My Signature System, Upshot-Dating®, is the best, most evolved way any woman can date and keeps on being replicated by my clients worldwide.

Read testimonials here.

Yet, no matter how good the coach is, it always takes a client who is committed, willing to transform, and who does her part. Here is how to ensure you are doing your part; in a reverse example, please take it with a sense of humour.

So, without further ado, here are the 27 best ways to keep the right man for you away:

1. Ignore the way you feel! Deny that you feel lonely or want a man who is loyal and supports you. Instead, I recommend a McDonald’s drive-through and a bucket of ice cream. Scroll social media until the feeling goes away.

2. Set the wrong focus! Don’t focus on your health or a happy relationship. Instead, make your career the centre of your life. Work yourself to the ground and stay until 8 pm. It is not like you can be replaced at work within two weeks, and your career is the only thing that matters on your deathbed.

3. Procrastinate making your love life a priority! Write down 10 things more important than your romantic life. It is so much more rewarding to stay in Maid-in-Waiting-Mode™ instead of acting as the Queen of Your Life.

4. Never ever have a plan for love and dating! Expect the perfect husband to fall from heaven. Leave love to luck, unlike your finances or fitness. Get into relationships with no Upshot defined. It’s an excellent strategy for heartbreak.

5. Hate all men! Because your ex was a bastard or your father was absent, you must generalise this to all men. Hold on to past experiences so no other man stands a chance. It’s illogical, but I advise you to apply this skill diligently.

6. Keep living in the past! Stay stuck on an ex for at least 2 to 5 years (ideally your childbearing years). Alternatively, put your life on hold indefinitely to work through your childhood issues and analyse your attachment style.

7. Never ever forgive anyone, especially not yourself! Peace is overrated. Hold on to rage and anger. He is responsible for your happiness, and your situation is his fault alone. Forgiving yourself means being too kind, and we don’t do that here.

8. Be extremely harsh and critical of yourself! Keep up the family tradition of beating yourself up. Find things you hate about yourself daily and date men who do not value you.

9. Hate happy, attractive, successful women! Never learn from them. Instead, tear them down and be backstabbing. Be jealous instead of inspired. See every woman as a competitor and never foster supportive friendships.

10. Only be friends with unhappy, single women who hate men! This is a must. If a woman doesn’t trash-talk her husband, she cannot be your friend. Stay away from women who respect men; they are not good for you.

11. Always control your mindset to focus on the negative! There is shit to see everywhere if you dig deep enough. Right now, the sun is really pissing me off—shining too much and too bright. I hate sunshine.

12. Know everything, but don’t apply any of it! Intellectualise everything. Strive to be like the person who can analyse every muscle fibre in a flick-flack but cannot actually jump herself. Theory is everything; results are nothing.

13. Never pay a credible coach like me! I should work for free. It’s not as if you are investing in yourself to get a happy life, marriage, or children in return.

14. Do not commit to a single coach! Behave as if you are spending five minutes in seven different gym classes. Only watch free content. You are NOT worth the investment. Use conflicting advice from different coaches so it takes years to get nowhere.

15. Expect instant results! Like an Amazon delivery. Instant gratification is your birthright. You want a six-pack in two weeks because of a YouTube thumbnail saying so. Manifest like you snap your fingers.

16. Control the uncontrollable! Make sure you know everything before you do anything. Do not act, and certainly do not take a risk.

17. Demand a quick fix instead of trusting the process! Cooking a homemade meal? Forget that. Just get an instant meal with no nutritional quality. A good coach should offer a superficial fix.

18. Never take any risk whatsoever! The moment you feel fear, play dead like a bug or curl into a ball like a hedgehog. Let your animal brain take over and stay in flight mode.

19. Take everything I say as a personal attack! Immediately hit back and find a way to prove me wrong. Never be open. You know better than I do; that is why you are the client and I am the consultant.

20. Ensure you are not coachable! You need more resistance to everything that is new and different. Do not be like an athlete who listens to what she needs to do to get where she wants, and then she just—you guessed it—does it.

21. Commit to self-sabotage! If something looks like it might actually work and give you different results, sabotage it immediately. You are not worthy of love and there needs to be a lot of drama.

22. Stay in your default! Never attempt to change. You might find true love even though you are fat (I am sure you are not). Because, yes, men only care for looks. That is why top models are the only women happy in love.

23. Fully commit to a relationship that’s going nowhere! While being Testwifed™ and stuck in the girlfriend trap, behave as if you are married and faithful to him. Take down your dating profile and make him the centre of your life before he gives you any commitment.

24. Sleep with him early! It will cloud your judgment and leave you blind to his flaws. It’s a perfect way to ensure your heart gets broken.

25. Always care what others think! Random men on dating apps or catcallers on the street are your primary SOURCE OF VALIDATION. Give uninformed comments and unasked-for opinions more importance than expert advice.

26. Don’t start this work until you are perfect! Keep postponing. Just as I clean my house before the cleaning lady comes, you should know everything before you ask for help.

27. I am not, I repeat, not here to help! I am not qualified. It’s not as if I have studied psychology, got certified as a coach, or founded Upshot-Dating®, a result-proven system. I am just online, scrolling all day, taking duck-face selfies.

Which of the 27 keys to keeping away the right man are you religiously implementing?

And would you like to stop so you can find the right man?

None of the content I share is to shame or blame women.

I want to show you what is possible when you change your approach to dating and start Upshot-Dating®.

It is very common for modern, intelligent women to unintentionally do some or all of the above. (I know I did.) Identifying your self-sabotaging habits and becoming aware of what keeps the right man for you at bay is the first step towards allowing him to find you.

You deserve a man who is loyal, supportive, and committed—but you have to become the woman who is ready to receive him.

Anina Green | Soulmate Katalyst Ltd.

Clinical Psychologist, Certified Dating Coach, Wife, Physicist, Founder of Upshot-Dating®

Read here: What is Upshot-Dating®, the Modern Queen’s Way to Date

Download the Free Guide: How to Find the Right Man Fast