Who is the Warrior Woman?

The warrior woman: the strong, beautiful, resilient, capable heroine. The intelligent woman with a good character and the heart of a lioness. The warrior woman is the modern, strong, empowered woman who leaves everyone in awe. She shows you by example what women are capable of.

This woman archetype is my kind of client.

The Warrior-Woman-Mode™ is also a diamond in the rough. She is a step away from the Modern Queen—the best, most balanced, and integrated version of yourself. The woman who has it all and lives her life to the fullest.

In this article, I am laying out what it looks like to be in Warrior-Woman-Mode™, what the costs are, and how to get out of Warrior-Woman-Mode™ to reach the Modern Queen stage.

Finding the right man—and that is what I help you do—is often only the catalyst to address Warrior-Woman-Mode™, since she is what keeps the man away. By addressing Warrior-Woman-Mode™ and evolving out of it, you will gain so much more than just the right man.

You know you are in Warrior-Woman-Mode™ if: 

The romantic department of your life is practically non-existent. 

This is the primary indicator that a woman is in Warrior-Woman-Mode™. 

Not to shame or blame, but to empower you: attracting men is the one easiest and most effortless thing for a woman to do. It is nature; it is biology; it is natural. 

When this basic mechanism is blocked, the reason is Warrior-Woman-Mode™ and the shield it has created.

By working with me, we will lower the shield in a controlled, safe manner and make it effortless for decent men to pursue you and for the right man to find you.

Other signs of Warrior-Woman-Mode™ are: 

Fluctuating in and out of burnout.

Compromising one area of your life for another.

Self-sabotage to keep the equilibrium, proving that you cannot have it all.

Having settled for the idea that success at work comes with a compromise in love.

Being successful and hardworking means loneliness and exhaustion.

Intelligence and education come at the price of a romantic connection.

Being tough and strong comes at the expense of disconnecting from your feelings and numbing your emotions and heart.

Being in Warrior-Woman-Mode™ does not work in your favour, because it pushes men away, and it is an exhausting way to live your life. It is survival mode; you are stuck in fight mode.

A woman in Warrior-Woman-Mode™ is the woman who buys the designer bags but feels empty inside. She is the woman who travels to luxurious 5-star resorts yet feels lonely sitting at the beach. This woman has resigned herself to the fact that she won’t have a family because she chose to stay independent.

There are good things—obviously—about being in Warrior-Woman-Mode™, and it is always way better than Maid-in-Waiting-Mode™ and Drama Queen. But there is more, and we are supposed to have more than struggle and fight alone.

If, after reading up till here, you identify with Warrior-Woman-Mode™, there is the Modern Queen, and she tells you:

No, darling, you CAN have it all. You can have a 10 out of 10 in all areas of your life:

Family and Friends

Fitness – the dream body

Carrer Success

Love Life

Finance 

Peace and Happiness

This is the promise of Feminism and what the women I work with want to experience. You do not need to burn yourself out; you do not need to stay alone. I am here to tell you that balance and integration are the key to being a Modern Queen.

The Warrior-Woman-Mode™ has gotten you far, and we want to honour her for that. And she is of use. And keeps us safe. Again, she is always better than victim mode, Maid-in-Waiting-Mode™, and Drama Queen.

Yet we also want to see her for who she is—at the core, she is a trauma response. The hyper-masculine, over-functioning, over-doing, over-controlling, hard-working, never asking for or receiving support, the do-it-all-alone, working myself to the ground mode that she essentially is, comes from trauma and abandonment; having had to do it all alone and having been hurt and burned by people you were supposed to trust and rely on.

One way to solve this is to pay thousands and spend years on therapy digging up your childhood wound, how your parents “failed” you, and what all the men you dated did to you. As a clinical psychologist—or because I have studied psychology—I strongly advise against this.

While this is lucrative for the shrink, remember the business model is classifying and capitalising on your condition, and might make you feel like you are doing something. It won’t change the past, nor get you the right man fast. It will just breed and multiply problems. And then you will spend time analysing them in your head without having real-life results and change.

Here is what I do and why my clients find the right man fast and heartbreak-free without digging up their past.

Without knowing exactly what happened in your childhood or in your past—and I do not have to in order to solve this for you—here are the three steps out of Warrior-Woman-Mode™ to the Modern Queen stage:

1. Stop Over-functioning 

Walk through daily life with this checklist: Unless it is an emergency, someone asks you specifically (and you can still say “No”), or it is your job (within work hours), and you get paid to do it, do not act! In other words, stop rescuing and assuming responsibility for everything around you.

Following this protocol is the fastest and quickest way to get you out of trauma mode without digging up the traumatic event itself! I don’t think a shrink would be this efficient.

2. Refill your cup! 

Boundaries around your time, energy and non-negotiable habits to take care of your body and let your mind calm down are a must. You have to learn to ask for support, accept support, delegate and let go of control.

3. Mindset 

Balance and integration of strength and softness, of mind and heart, and knowing when to apply which, are the keys to the Modern Queen’s full life.

Related reading: The Queen of Ice. 

If you find yourself in Warrior-Woman-Mode™, being a Queen of Ice is not far-fetched. I was both! Warrior Woman and total Queen of Ice. That is why I can relate to and understand my clients so well.

Download the Free Guide: How to Find Love Regardless of Your Past. 

The lovely Warrior Woman has a story and an often painful past that made her distrust men and love. This free guide will speak directly to you. 

By downloading the Free Guide, you will automatically be added to my Bronze Level Email list, which leads you through my content in a structured way to achieve maximum results.

For direct one-on-one support in finding the right man for you: Book a 30-minute Assessment Call

I look forward to meeting you!

Anina Green | Soulmate Katalyst Ltd.

Clinical Psychologist, Certified Dating Coach, Wife, Physicist, Founder of Upshot-Dating®

Dedicated to Your Success in Love Since 2016